Developing a comprehensive Individualized Education Program (IEP) involves more than just addressing academic benchmarks; it requires a deep focus on the “whole child.” Social-emotional and social skills are the bedrock of a student’s ability to navigate the classroom, build meaningful friendships, and eventually succeed in the adult world.
By integrating Social-Emotional Learning (SEL) competencies (such as self-awareness and relationship skills) into measurable SMART goals, parents and educators can create a roadmap for a student’s functional success. This guide explores how to build these goals effectively, the legal foundations that require individualized support, and how to use data to ensure every child has the tools they need to thrive emotionally and socially.
What are Social-Emotional and Social Skills Development?
Students with disabilities often struggle with social-emotional skills. This can range from an inability to regulate emotions during frustration or unexpected situations to difficulty reading social cues and responding appropriately.
Importance of social-emotional skills for academic success, peer relationships, and adulthood
Social-emotional skills are essential to everyday life. Children with underdeveloped social-emotional skills may find it difficult to make friends at school. If unaddressed, these struggles can persist into adulthood, where individuals may face significant challenges in forming any peer relationships.
For children, a lack of these skills also hinders academic performance. For example, a student might encounter a difficult math problem, become frustrated, and react negatively, which disrupts their ability to learn. In contrast, children with strong social-emotional skills manage stress effectively and engage more deeply with their education.
Providing social-emotional support through social and emotional learning (SEL) is therefore vital for a child’s emotional well-being, social interactions, and self-regulation.
Children with developed social-emotional skills are better able to cope with their emotions, cooperate with others, build positive relationships, and make informed decisions. They are more effective communicators and possess higher levels of confidence and social competence, which research shows leads to higher academic achievement.
Impact of trauma, anxiety, behavioral disorders, and disabilities on skill development
The failure to develop social-emotional skills can stem from various factors. Individuals who have experienced trauma or suffer from anxiety often feel constantly stressed with a dysregulated nervous system. This can make them prone to reactivity and less capable of handling unpredictability.
Additionally, those with behavioral disorders such as autism or ADHD may experience deficient social-emotional skills. For these individuals, challenges with reading social cues or managing emotions due to impulsivity can lead to significant difficulties.
Rationale for early, intentional instruction and intervention
Developing social-emotional skills early, especially before a child enters the adult world, provides ample opportunity to nurture a core part of their identity in a safe, regulated environment. It allows children to practice these skills without the high stakes of “real life,” where missteps could, for example, cost them a job or lead to other serious consequences. Furthermore, because some children require more time than others to develop these skills, starting their journey as early as possible offers immense benefits.
For parents and guardians, identifying a child’s social-emotional needs is essential to ensure they have the best possible chance of achieving and maintaining good mental health, which is crucial for overall happiness.
Goal Bank for 150 Plus Social-Emotional IEP Goals for Parents
| # | SEL Area | Goal Focus | Parent-Friendly IEP Goal Template | Possible Objectives / Benchmarks | Measurement Ideas |
| 1 | Self-Awareness / Emotional Regulation | Identify and manage feelings | By the review date, the student will identify and manage feelings such as anger, anxiety, stress, and frustration daily with ___ frequency as measured by ___. | Relate situations to emotions; recognize frustration; name anger, anxiety, stress, or frustration; choose an appropriate response. | Feelings checklist, teacher observation, self-rating scale |
| 2 | Self-Awareness / Emotional Regulation | Recognize frustration | The student will recognize signs of frustration in self before escalation in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Identify body cues; name the feeling; tell an adult or use a coping tool. | Observation notes, behavior checklist |
| 3 | Self-Awareness / Emotional Regulation | Accept “no” | When told “no,” the student will accept the answer appropriately with ___ frequency as measured by ___. | Pause before responding; use calm words; choose another activity; avoid arguing or escalation. | Teacher observation, event data |
| 4 | Self-Awareness / Emotional Regulation | Say “no” appropriately | When given an inappropriate or unreasonable request, the student will say “no” appropriately in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Use assertive language, ask for help if needed, and walk away safely. | Role-play checklist, observation |
| 5 | Self-Awareness / Emotional Regulation | Convey emotions appropriately | The student will identify appropriate ways to express emotions such as pleasure, anger, frustration, or anxiety in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Use words, visuals, AAC, writing, or a feelings chart to express emotions. | Communication log, observation |
| 6 | Self-Awareness / Emotional Regulation | Reduce anxiety and stress | In real or simulated stressful situations, the student will practice ways to reduce anxiety and stress with ___ frequency. | Practice breathing, break requests, positive self-talk, quiet space, or calming routine. | Coping strategy checklist |
| 7 | Self-Awareness | Express feelings and strengths | The student will identify and express feelings and strengths about self and others with ___ frequency, independent of teacher prompts, as measured by ___. | Make positive statements; name strengths; identify areas for improvement; recognize others’ feelings. | Reflection sheet, teacher notes |
| 8 | Self-Awareness | Positive self-statements | The student will make positive statements about personal qualities or achievements in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Name one success; identify one strength; use a positive affirmation. | Student reflection, counseling notes |
| 9 | Self-Awareness | Identify areas for growth | The student will identify one area of improvement and one strategy for growth in ___ out of ___ discussions. | Discuss what was difficult; name a support; set a small improvement goal. | Student conference notes |
| 10 | Self-Awareness | Likes and dislikes | The student will name things they like and dislike about themselves or school experiences in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Identify preferences; share feelings; explain likes/dislikes appropriately. | Interview checklist, reflection sheet |
| 11 | Self-Awareness / Social Awareness | Understand another’s feelings | The student will show understanding of another person’s feelings in ___ out of ___ real or simulated situations. | Identify how someone feels; explain why; choose a kind response. | Scenario-based data, observation |
| 12 | Self-Awareness / Social Awareness | Recognize others’ accomplishments | The student will identify another person’s accomplishment or positive action in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Give a compliment; notice peer success, and respond positively. | Observation, peer interaction notes |
| 13 | Self-Awareness / Anxiety | Identify anxiety level | The student will identify their level of anxiety and use a strategy to reduce anxiety in ___% of opportunities. | Identify anxiety level, select a strategy, and practice it. | Anxiety scale, self-monitoring form |
| 14 | Self-Awareness / Anxiety | Select an anxiety strategy | When anxious, the student will select an appropriate strategy to reduce anxiety in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Choose breathing, grounding, a break, a help request, or a calming activity. | Strategy-use checklist |
| 15 | Self-Awareness / Anxiety | Practice anxiety strategy | The student will practice a strategy to reduce anxiety during structured activities in ___ out of ___ sessions. | Use deep breathing, positive self-talk, quiet space, or stress-relieving activity. | Counseling data, observation |
| 16 | Problem-Solving | Make appropriate decisions | The student will make appropriate decisions on a daily basis with ___ frequency as measured by ___. | Gather information; identify options; choose a solution; follow through. | Decision-making checklist |
| 17 | Problem-Solving | Collect information | Before making a decision, the student will collect necessary information in ___ out of ___ structured situations. | Ask questions; identify facts; determine what information is missing. | Teacher observation |
| 18 | Problem-Solving | Identify options | When faced with a problem, the student will identify at least two available options in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Name choices; compare options; ask for support if needed. | Scenario worksheet |
| 19 | Problem-Solving | Know when to ask for support | The student will determine whether a decision can be made independently or requires support from others in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Identify safe/unsafe choices; name trusted adults; ask for help. | Problem-solving rubric |
| 20 | Problem-Solving | Understand consequences | The student will identify short-term and long-term impacts of decisions in ___ out of ___ scenarios. | Predict what may happen next; identify positive and negative consequences. | Role-play data, worksheet |
| 21 | Problem-Solving | Choose the best solution | Given a problem, the student will choose a solution that best meets their needs in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Compare options; choose a safe/respectful solution; explain choice. | Teacher checklist |
| 22 | Problem-Solving | Rank problems by importance | The student will arrange problems by importance in ___ out of ___ structured activities. | Identify urgent vs. small problems; decide what to solve first. | Worksheet, observation |
| 23 | Problem-Solving | Follow or modify a plan | The student will follow through with a plan or modify the plan to meet a goal in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | State plan; try solution; adjust if needed. | Goal tracking sheet |
| 24 | Responsible Decision-Making | Accept responsibility | The student will voluntarily accept responsibility for their own behavior without making excuses in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | State what happened; identify own role; name a repair action. | Reflection form, behavior notes |
| 25 | Responsible Decision-Making | Refuse unreasonable requests | The student will say “no” to unreasonable requests in ___ out of ___ real or simulated situations. | Use assertive words; seek help; avoid unsafe peer pressure. | Role-play checklist |
| 26 | Conflict Resolution | Manage conflicts | The student will manage conflicts on a daily basis with ___ frequency, with or without teacher support, as measured by ___. | Identify conflict; use calm words; ask for help after trying independently. | Conflict log, observation |
| 27 | Conflict Resolution | Acceptable language and behavior | The student will distinguish acceptable and unacceptable behaviors and language in ___ out of ___ scenarios. | Sort examples; explain why the behavior is acceptable or unacceptable. | Scenario worksheet |
| 28 | Conflict Resolution | Identify conflict triggers | The student will identify social interactions that may lead to conflict in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Recognize teasing, disagreement, peer pressure, exclusion, or frustration. | Discussion notes |
| 29 | Conflict Resolution | Handle conflict constructively | The student will constructively handle situations that may lead to conflict in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Use a calm voice; state the problem; listen; offer a solution. | Observation, rubric |
| 30 | Conflict Resolution | Ask for help | After attempting to solve a conflict independently, the student will ask for adult assistance in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Try one strategy first: request mediation; explain the problem. | Teacher notes |
| 31 | Conflict Resolution | State angry feelings appropriately | The student will appropriately state angry feelings to the person involved in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Use “I feel” statements; avoid yelling, threats, or name-calling. | Role-play checklist |
| 32 | Conflict Resolution | Control temper | In conflict situations, the student will control their temper with ___ frequency as measured by ___. | Pause; use coping strategy; keep safe body; use respectful words. | Behavior checklist |
| 33 | Conflict Resolution / Peer Pressure | Respond to peer pressure | The student will respond appropriately to peer pressure in ___ out of ___ real or simulated situations. | Say no; suggest another choice; leave; seek adult support. | Role-play data |
| 34 | School / Classroom Skills | Control impulsive behavior | The student will control impulsive behavior with ___ frequency as measured by ___. | Identify impulsive vs. self-controlled behavior; practice self-control; identify consequences. | Behavior frequency data |
| 35 | School / Classroom Skills | Identify impulsive behavior | The student will demonstrate the difference between impulsive and self-controlled behavior in ___ out of ___ activities. | Sort examples; role-play both behaviors; explain consequences. | Scenario checklist |
| 36 | School / Classroom Skills | Practice self-control | The student will practice self-controlled behaviors in real or simulated situations in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Wait, turn, raise hand; pause before acting; keep hands to self. | Observation |
| 37 | School / Classroom Skills | Understand the consequences of impulsivity | The student will identify potential consequences of impulsive behavior in ___ out of ___ scenarios. | Explain what may happen; identify a safer choice. | Worksheet, discussion |
| 38 | School / Classroom Skills | Remain on task | The student will remain on task and work independently with ___ frequency as measured by ___. | Ignore distractions; work steadily; begin tasks from the schedule; try before asking for help. | On-task interval data |
| 39 | School / Classroom Skills | Ignore distractions | During independent work, the student will ignore distractions and continue working in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Stay seated; focus on the assignment; use a checklist or visual support. | Interval recording |
| 40 | School / Classroom Skills | Work steadily | The student will work steadily with attention focused on the task for ___ minutes in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Continue work; reduce off-task behavior; complete assigned portion. | Duration data |
| 41 | School / Classroom Skills | Stay on task with adult movement | The student will stay on task when adults enter or leave the classroom in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Continue the assignment; avoid distractions; use a self-monitoring tool. | Observation |
| 42 | School / Classroom Skills | Begin tasks independently | The student will independently begin tasks from a prearranged schedule in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Check the schedule; gather materials; start the first step. | Task initiation data |
| 43 | School / Classroom Skills | Try before asking for help | Before asking for help, the student will attempt to independently resolve assignment problems in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Reread directions; try first step; use example; then ask for help. | Teacher checklist |
| 44 | School / Classroom Skills | Follow adult directions | The student will follow directions given by teachers, staff, or other adults with ___ frequency as measured by ___. | Follow verbal/written directions; comply within a reasonable time; ask for clarification. | Compliance data |
| 45 | School / Classroom Skills | Follow verbal directions | The student will follow verbal directions in a timely manner in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Listen; begin within ___ seconds/minutes; complete direction. | Teacher observation |
| 46 | School / Classroom Skills | Follow written directions | The student will read and follow written directions in a timely and cooperative manner in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Read directions; ask for clarification; complete steps. | Work sample, checklist |
| 47 | School / Classroom Skills | Comply with requests | The student will comply with teacher requests within a reasonable time span in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Respond calmly; begin the task; avoid refusal. | Observation |
| 48 | School / Classroom Skills | Follow the rules without the lead teacher | The student will follow classroom rules when the lead teacher is not present in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Follow substitute/staff directions; maintain expected behavior. | Staff report |
| 49 | School / Classroom Skills | Ask for clarification | When unable to understand directions, the student will seek clarification or assistance before proceeding in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Say “I don’t understand”; ask a question; request to repeat directions. | Teacher checklist |
| 50 | School / Classroom Skills | Demonstrate class rules | The student will demonstrate knowledge of class rules by complying with rules during class time with ___ frequency. | Follow expectations; use appropriate voice; stay in assigned area. | Behavior checklist |
| 51 | School / Classroom Skills | Productive school behavior | The student will display productive school behavior on a daily basis with ___ frequency as measured by ___. | Attend school; complete work; accept correction; ask for help; use appropriate language. | Daily report card |
| 52 | School / Classroom Skills | Attend school consistently | The student will attend school consistently with ___ frequency as measured by attendance records. | Arrive regularly; participate in the daily schedule. | Attendance data |
| 53 | School / Classroom Skills | Attend appointments | The student will attend scheduled appointments regularly and promptly with ___ frequency. | Arrive on time, bring the necessary materials, and participate. | Appointment log |
| 54 | School / Classroom Skills | Complete assigned work | The student will complete assigned work on a daily basis with ___ frequency. | Finish task; turn in assignment; ask for help when needed. | Work completion data |
| 55 | School / Classroom Skills | Attempt challenging tasks | When given challenging or new material, the student will attempt the task and take an appropriate academic risk in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Try the first step: use a coping strategy, ask for help. | Observation, work sample |
| 56 | School / Classroom Skills | Accept correction | The student will accept correction appropriately in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Listen; respond respectfully; correct behavior or work. | Teacher observation |
| 57 | School / Classroom Skills | Adapt to change | The student will adapt effectively to changes such as assemblies, fire drills, schedule changes, seat changes, or new students in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Use a flexibility strategy; follow a new direction; remain calm. | Behavior notes |
| 58 | School / Classroom Skills | Ask for help | When help is needed, the student will appropriately ask for help ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Raise hand; use the help card; ask a specific question. | Help-request log |
| 59 | School / Classroom Skills | Volunteer answers appropriately | The student will volunteer an answer to the teacher’s question using appropriate voice tone, volume, and physical manner in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Raise hand; wait to be called; use expected voice. | Participation checklist |
| 60 | School / Classroom Skills | Use appropriate language | The student will use appropriate language across school settings with ___ frequency as measured by ___. | Avoid hurtful words; use respectful, school-appropriate phrases; and use school-appropriate vocabulary. | Behavior checklist |
| 61 | School / Classroom Skills | Follow rules in shared spaces | The student will identify and follow rules in the lunchroom, bathroom, halls, and bus with ___ frequency. | Walk safely; respect others; use an appropriate voice; follow adult directions. | Setting-based checklist |
| 62 | Group Skills | Engage in a group activity | The student will engage in appropriate group activity, including play, academics, or classroom discussion, with ___ frequency as measured by ___. | Use polite phrases; participate; wait while others speak; ask permission for physical contact. | Group participation rubric |
| 63 | Group Skills | Use polite phrases | The student will use appropriate phrases such as “please” and “thank you” in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Use greetings; request politely; thank peers/adults. | Observation |
| 64 | Group Skills | Lead or present to the group | The student will lead or present to a group in ___ out of ___ structured opportunities. | Present oral report; participate in discussion; initiate group activity. | Presentation rubric |
| 65 | Group Skills | Participate in a teacher-led discussion | During teacher-led discussion, the student will listen, raise hand, and wait to be recognized in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Attend to the speaker; raise a hand; wait for your turn; respond on topic. | Participation checklist |
| 66 | Group Skills | Wait while others speak | The student will wait quietly and respectfully while others are speaking in ___ out of ___ group activities. | Avoid interrupting; use listening body; wait for your turn. | Observation |
| 67 | Boundaries | Ask permission for physical contact | When wanting to give or receive physical contact, such as a hug, the student will ask permission in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Ask first; accept yes/no; respect boundaries. | Observation |
| 68 | Property Respect | Respect property | The student will respect the property of others and school property, according to classroom and school rules, with ___ frequency. | Ask permission; use materials correctly; return borrowed items. | Property checklist |
| 69 | Property Respect | Ask before using the property | The student will ask permission before using another person’s property in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Ask the owner; wait for response; accept no. | Observation |
| 70 | Property Respect | Use classroom materials correctly | The student will demonstrate correct use of classroom equipment and materials in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Use tools safely; follow directions; avoid damage. | Teacher checklist |
| 71 | Property Respect | Return borrowed items | The student will use and return borrowed items to the owner in original condition in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Return item; place in correct location; repair/replace if damaged. | Observation |
| 72 | Property Respect | Distinguish one’s own vs. others’ property | The student will distinguish someone else’s property from their own in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Identify owner; ask before touching; return misplaced items. | Scenario checklist |
| 73 | Property Respect | Return equipment | The student will return all equipment to the proper storage place in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Clean up; organize materials; follow the classroom system. | Classroom checklist |
| 74 | Transportation / Public Conduct | Vehicle behavior | The student will use appropriate behaviors while riding a vehicle, such as a bus, with ___ frequency as measured by ___. | Remain seated; keep hands/feet to self; use appropriate language; follow driver directions. | Bus report, staff observation |
| 75 | Transportation / Public Conduct | Stay seated safely | While the vehicle is moving, the student will remain seated with seat belt fastened in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Sit safely; keep body in seat; follow safety rules. | Transportation checklist |
| 76 | Transportation / Public Conduct | Keep your hands and feet to yourself | While riding a vehicle, the student will keep hands and feet to self and inside the vehicle in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Maintain personal space; avoid touching others or property. | Bus observation |
| 77 | Transportation / Public Conduct | Use an appropriate voice on the bus | The student will speak with appropriate language, volume, tone, and voice while riding a vehicle in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Use respectful words, an inside voice, and avoid yelling. | Bus report |
| 78 | Transportation / Public Conduct | Respect others on the bus | The student will respect the rights and property of others on the bus in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Keep belongings to self; avoid teasing; follow shared-space rules. | Transportation checklist |
| 79 | Transportation / Public Conduct | Follow the bus driver’s directions | The student will comply with the bus driver’s directions in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Listen; respond promptly; follow safety instructions. | Driver report |
| 80 | Social / Interpersonal Skills | Stay on topic | The student will improve conversational skills by staying on topic in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Sequence events; state the main idea; respond on topic. | Conversation rubric |
| 81 | Social / Interpersonal Skills | Sequence events | The student will identify what happened first, in the middle, and last regarding a story, past event, or situation in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Retell in order; use first/next/last; stay on topic. | Language sample |
| 82 | Social / Interpersonal Skills | State the main idea | The student will state the main idea of a story, video, or situation in 4 out of 5 opportunities. | Identify key point; summarize briefly; avoid unrelated details. | Work sample, observation |
| 83 | Social Understanding | Turn-taking | The student will engage in appropriate turn-taking by attending to a peer’s turn and waiting for their own turn in 4 out of 5 opportunities. | Watch/listen during peer turn; wait; take own turn appropriately. | Group activity checklist |
| 84 | Social Understanding | Work cooperatively | The student will work cooperatively with peers in small-group settings in 4 out of 5 opportunities. | Share materials; allow different ideas; complete group role. | Cooperative learning rubric |
| 85 | Social Understanding | Raise your hand and wait | In group settings, the student will raise their hand and wait to be called on before speaking aloud in 4 out of 5 opportunities. | Raise hand; wait; speak when called. | Participation data |
| 86 | Social-Emotional Skills | Identify emotions in self | The student will identify various simple emotional states in self in 4 out of 5 opportunities. | Name happy, sad, mad, scared, frustrated, calm, or worried. | Feelings chart data |
| 87 | Social-Emotional Skills | Match response to emotion | The student will state an appropriate response to a particular emotional state in 4 out of 5 opportunities. | Choose a coping skill; ask for help; use words; take a break. | Scenario checklist |
| 88 | Social-Emotional Skills | Explain why someone feels emotion | The student will state why a person might be feeling a particular emotion in 4 out of 5 opportunities. | Use context clues; identify the cause; connect the event to the feeling. | Social story worksheet |
| 89 | Play / Peer Relations | Appropriate play skills | The student will demonstrate appropriate play skills, peer relations, cooperative learning, and assertiveness with ___ frequency as measured by ___. | Follow rules; play cooperatively; wait your turn; handle defeat; resist peer pressure. | Recess/play observation |
| 90 | Play / Peer Relations | Follow game rules | The student will learn and follow rules when playing an organized game in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Listen to the rules; follow the turn order; accept the outcome. | Game checklist |
| 91 | Play / Peer Relations | Cooperative play | The student will engage in cooperative play with at least one peer in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Share materials; join the activity; participate appropriately. | Recess data |
| 92 | Play / Peer Relations | Show effort in competition | In competitive games, the student will display effort and appropriate participation in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Try, follow rules; avoid quitting due to frustration. | Observation |
| 93 | Assertiveness | Resist harmful peer pressure | The student will use assertive behavior to resist harmful peer pressure in ___ out of ___ scenarios. | Say no; suggest a safe choice; leave; seek adult support. | Role-play data |
| 94 | Assertiveness / Advocacy | Support someone whose rights are violated | The student will take appropriate action to support a person whose rights are being violated in ___ out of ___ scenarios. | Tell the adult, use assertive words, offer support, and avoid joining harmful behavior. | Scenario rubric |
| 95 | Conversation Skills | Refrain from interrupting | The student will refrain from interrupting others in conversation in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Wait for pause; raise hand; use agreed signal. | Conversation tally |
| 96 | Turn-Taking | Wait to turn in games/activities | The student will wait their turn in games or activities in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Watch/listen; keep hands to self; take turn when appropriate. | Observation |
| 97 | Emotional Expression | Express feelings when wronged | When wronged, the student will appropriately express feelings in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Use “I feel” statement; avoid aggression; ask for help. | Conflict log |
| 98 | Social Behavior Styles | Identify behavior styles | The student will identify aggressive, assertive, and passive behaviors and styles in ___ out of ___ scenarios. | Sort examples; explain differences; choose an assertive response. | Scenario worksheet |
| 99 | Self-Management | Accept responsibility for behavior change | The student will accept responsibility for changing their own behaviors in ___ out of ___ reflection opportunities. | Identify the behavior; name a replacement behavior; practice the strategy. | Reflection form |
| 100 | Assertiveness | Practice assertiveness | The student will practice assertiveness skills in real and simulated situations in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Use a calm voice; say no; state the need; ask for help. | Role-play rubric |
| 101 | Social Response | Respond to inappropriate behavior | When confronted with inappropriate behavior, the student will engage in appropriate behavior in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Ignore, walk away, say stop, or seek adult help. | Observation |
| 102 | Sportsmanship | Handle defeat | When losing a competitive game, the student will congratulate the winner without grumbling or negative behavior in ___ out of ___ opportunities. | Say “good game,” remain calm, and continue participating. | Game observation |
| 103 | Peer Pressure | Identify appropriate behavior | Given peer-pressure situations, the student will identify appropriate behavior in ___ out of ___ real or simulated situations. | Choose safe action; explain why; resist unsafe requests. | Role-play checklist |
| 104 | Unstructured Play | Personal space and respectful voice | During unstructured play, the student will interact with peers appropriately by maintaining personal space and a respectful voice for an average of 80% of intervals over a two-week period. | Stay near peers appropriately; use a respectful voice; keep hands to self. | Interval data |
| 105 | Social Conflict | Identify the problem and solutions | Given social conflict scenarios, the student will identify the problem and generate two appropriate solutions in 4 out of 5 trials. | State the problem; name two solutions; choose one safe option. | Data collection sheet |
| 106 | Recess / Peer Interaction | Start conversation | During recess, the student will independently initiate and begin a back-and-forth conversation with an identified classmate with 80% success across 3 consecutive weeks. | Greet peer; ask about shared interest; respond to peer comment. | Recess observation |
| 107 | Social Skills Growth | Acquire new social skills | The student will acquire two new social skills per quarter to ___% accuracy, including initiating conversations and participating in turn-taking. | Practice one skill at a time; use in structured activities; generalize to peers/adults. | Quarterly progress data |
| 108 | Life Skills | Acquire new life skills | Given direct instruction and visual supports, the student will acquire 2 new life skills per quarter, including bathroom and hygiene routines, and will perform each skill independently with 70% accuracy. | Follow routine; use visual support; increase independence. | Life skills checklist |
| 109 | Social Communication | Request help and basic needs | The student will increase social communication by requesting help and using pictures or words to have basic needs met in 3 out of 5 opportunities. | Use words, pictures, or AAC; request help; communicate need. | Communication data |
| 110 | Independent Work | Complete the task with fewer prompts | The student will increase independent work time by completing one task with one or fewer adult prompts in 3 out of 5 opportunities. | Begin task; stay engaged; complete task. | Prompt-level data |
| 111 | Language / Social Communication | Use statements and questions | The student will demonstrate accurate use and understanding of statements and questions in 4 out of 5 opportunities. | Ask questions; answer questions; use complete statements. | Language sample |
| 112 | Stress / Work Demands | Positive self-talk and coping | In the classroom, the student will use positive self-talk and coping strategies to handle stressful situations or work demands, engaging in the 30-minute activity calmly with one prompt on 2 out of 3 occasions. | Use positive self-talk; stay with the task; use a coping strategy. | Observation, duration data |
| 113 | Self-Regulation | Use a coping strategy when upset | When upset, frustrated, or angry, the student will use a coping strategy such as movement break, deep breathing, quiet space, deep pressure, or heavy work with one reminder in 4 out of 5 opportunities. | Identify feeling; choose a coping skill; avoid unexpected behavior. | Observation/documentation |
| 114 | Frustration Tolerance | Return to the task after frustration | Given a frustrating situation, the student will use a coping strategy and return to the task with a calm body and mind for at least 10 minutes, with an average of 95% over 8 consecutive school weeks. | Take a break; breathe; return to task; remain calm. | Duration and observation data |
| 115 | Physical Aggression | Refrain from aggression | The student will refrain from physical aggression, including kicking, hitting, pushing, or tripping, across all school environments for 4 consecutive weeks. | Keep safe body; use words; ask for help; use coping skills. | Event data |
| 116 | Passive Non-Compliance | Reduce passive non-compliance | Using self-monitoring checklists, the student will reduce passive non-compliance to an average of 20% or fewer across all educational environments over a one-week period. | Use a checklist; respond to task demands; reduce ignoring/refusal. | Interval data, self-monitoring |
| 117 | Self-Monitoring | Rate your own behavior | The student will recognize expected and unexpected behaviors and rate their own behavior with 80% accuracy compared to teacher ratings. | Identify expected/unexpected; complete self-rating; compare with teacher rating. | Self-monitoring form |
| 118 | Emotional Safety | Be mad without hurting | The student will allow themselves to be mad or frustrated without hurting others in 90% of observed opportunities. | Name the feeling; use a safe body; choose a coping strategy. | Observation, behavior data |
| 119 | Self-Awareness | Label emotions | By ___, the student will identify and label emotions in 4 out of 5 situations with minimal prompts. | Name feeling; use a chart; match emotion to situation. | Feelings checklist |
| 120 | Self-Awareness | Identify strengths | Within one semester, the student will identify at least three personal strengths in 80% of weekly discussions. | Name strengths; give an example; connect the strength to school success. | Weekly discussion notes |
| 121 | Self-Awareness | Reflect on behavior | By the end of the semester, the student will reflect on behavior during group activities in 75% of instances. | State what went well; identify the challenge; name the next step. | Reflection form |
| 122 | Self-Awareness | Set and monitor a goal | By ___, the student will set a personal goal and monitor progress in weekly reviews with 80% consistency. | Choose a goal; track progress; discuss improvement. | Goal-tracking sheet |
| 123 | Self-Awareness | Identify physical cues | Within three months, the student will identify physical cues of emotions, such as clenched fists for anger, in 4 out of 5 trials. | Match body cue to feeling; identify own cue. | Scenario data |
| 124 | Self-Awareness | Identify frustration triggers | By ___, the student will list three triggers for frustration and discuss appropriate responses in 75% of situations. | Name triggers, choose a response, practice a strategy. | Reflection sheet |
| 125 | Self-Awareness | Daily affirmation | By the end of the school year, the student will verbalize positive self-affirmations once daily, 4 days per week. | Say affirmation; connect to strength; use during challenge. | Daily checklist |
| 126 | Self-Management | Use a coping strategy | By ___, the student will use a coping strategy, such as deep breathing, to manage frustration in 80% of stressful situations. | Identify stress; use a strategy; return to the activity. | Coping log |
| 127 | Self-Management | Wait, turn in the discussion | Within six months, the student will wait their turn in group discussions with no more than two reminders in 4 out of 5 opportunities. | Listen, wait, speak when called. | Group discussion tally |
| 128 | Self-Management | Use a stress-relieving activity | By the end of the semester, the student will identify and use one stress-relieving activity 90% of the time when overwhelmed. | Choose a calming activity; use it; return to the task. | Self-regulation data |
| 129 | Self-Management | Complete daily goal | By ___, the student will set and complete a simple daily goal 4 out of 5 days each week. | Choose goal; complete goal; review progress. | Daily goal tracker |
| 130 | Self-Management | Use a cool-down strategy | Within the semester, the student will recognize early signs of anger and use a cool-down strategy in 3 out of 4 opportunities. | Identify signs; use breaks and breathing techniques; avoid escalation. | Behavior log |
| 131 | Self-Management | Organize and complete tasks | By the end of the year, the student will independently organize and complete daily tasks in 4 out of 5 instances. | Use a schedule/checklist, gather materials, and finish the task. | Task checklist |
| 132 | Self-Management | Respond to feedback | By ___, the student will respond to constructive feedback without negative outbursts in 80% of cases. | Listen, acknowledge feedback, and make corrections. | Teacher observation |
| 133 | Social Awareness | Identify others’ feelings | By the end of the semester, the student will identify others’ feelings in hypothetical scenarios with 80% accuracy. | Use facial, body, and situational clues to name the feeling. | Scenario discussion |
| 134 | Social Awareness | Identify nonverbal cues | Within six months, the student will identify nonverbal cues such as facial expressions in social stories with 80% accuracy. | Match facial expressions to feelings; explain the clues. | Social story data |
| 135 | Social Awareness | Demonstrate empathy | By ___, the student will demonstrate empathy by offering a comforting statement in 3 out of 5 observed opportunities. | Say kind words; ask if the peer is okay; offer help. | Observation |
| 136 | Social Awareness | Respect differences | By the end of the year, the student will recognize and respect differences by discussing diversity topics in 4 out of 5 sessions. | Listen respectfully; identify similarities/differences; use respectful language. | Discussion notes |
| 137 | Social Awareness | Listen without interrupting | By ___, the student will listen to peers without interrupting in 4 out of 5 group activities. | Face/listen to speaker; wait for turn; respond appropriately. | Group observation |
| 138 | Social Awareness | Positive peer comment | Within three months, the student will initiate a positive comment to a peer in 3 out of 4 monitored social interactions. | Compliment; encourage; acknowledge peer effort. | Peer interaction log |
| 139 | Social Awareness | Respect group roles | By ___, the student will recognize and respect roles of different group members in 3 out of 4 group projects. | Identify roles; complete own role; respect others’ roles. | Group project rubric |
| 140 | Relationship Skills | New peer interaction | By ___, the student will engage in at least one new peer interaction weekly with minimal prompts. | Greet peer; ask a question; join an activity. | Weekly social log |
| 141 | Relationship Skills | Conflict-resolution strategies | Within six months, the student will use conflict-resolution strategies in 80% of interpersonal conflicts. | State problem; listen; suggest solution; seek help if needed. | Conflict-resolution form |
| 142 | Relationship Skills | Group tasks and team decisions | By the end of the semester, the student will contribute to group tasks and respect team decisions in 4 out of 5 group activities. | Share ideas; complete the role; accept the group’s choice. | Group rubric |
| 143 | Relationship Skills | Daily peer conversation | By ___, the student will initiate a conversation with a peer at least once daily, achieving 80% frequency. | Greet; ask a question; respond to a peer. | Daily interaction data |
| 144 | Relationship Skills | Personal boundaries | Within three months, the student will respect personal boundaries in 90% of peer interactions. | Maintain space; ask before touching; stop when asked. | Observation |
| 145 | Relationship Skills | Active listening | By ___, the student will demonstrate active listening skills, such as eye contact or nodding, in 4 out of 5 monitored instances. | Attend to the speaker; respond on topic; avoid interrupting. | Listening checklist |
| 146 | Relationship Skills | Offer help to peers | By the end of the semester, the student will offer help to peers in 3 out of 5 observed opportunities. | Notice need; ask if help is wanted; provide appropriate help. | Observation |
| 147 | Responsible Decision-Making | Identify outcomes | By ___, the student will identify two potential outcomes before making a decision in 4 out of 5 trials. | Name possible results; compare choices; choose a safe option. | Decision-making worksheet |
| 148 | Responsible Decision-Making | Reflect on past decisions | Within the semester, the student will discuss past decisions and potential improvements in 3 out of 4 reflection sessions. | Identify decision; discuss outcome; name better option. | Reflection notes |
| 149 | Responsible Decision-Making | Choose safe action | By the end of the year, the student will identify and choose a safe action over a risky one in 90% of hypothetical situations. | Identify risk; choose safe behavior; explain why. | Scenario data |
| 150 | Responsible Decision-Making | Generate solutions | By ___, the student will generate two solutions for a given problem in 4 out of 5 scenarios. | Name problem; list two options; choose the best solution. | Problem-solving rubric |
| 151 | Responsible Decision-Making | Predict outcomes | By the end of the semester, the student will predict possible outcomes of actions in 4 out of 5 discussions. | Identify what could happen; name positive/negative outcomes. | Discussion checklist |
| 152 | Responsible Decision-Making | Pros and cons | By ___, the student will list pros and cons of a decision before acting in 3 out of 4 structured activities. | Identify benefits; identify risks; make a choice. | Worksheet |
| 153 | Responsible Decision-Making | Ethical decision-making | By the end of the year, the student will demonstrate understanding of ethical decision-making by role-playing appropriate responses in 75% of sessions. | Identify fair/safe/respectful action; role-play response. | Role-play rubric |
| 154 | Progress Monitoring | Use a checklist or a rating scale | The student will participate in progress monitoring by using a behavior checklist or rating scale with ___ frequency. | Rate coping, behavior, peer interaction, or task completion. | Daily/weekly rating scale |
| 155 | Progress Monitoring | Self-reflection | The student will complete self-reflection activities to recognize progress toward social-emotional goals with ___ frequency. | Use a journal, an emotion tracker, or a reflection sheet. | Reflection log |
| 156 | Progress Monitoring | Student involvement in tracking | The student will track their own progress toward a selected social-emotional goal with ___ frequency. | Mark strategy use; review progress; set next step. | Self-monitoring checklist |
| 157 | Progress Monitoring | Review and adjust goals | During scheduled reviews, the student will participate in discussions of progress and in identifying whether supports need adjustment with ___ frequency. | Share success; share challenge; identify helpful support. | Review notes |
Role of Social-Emotional Goals in IEPs
Purpose of embedding SEL and social skills goals within IEPs
For students with disabilities who receive special education through Individualized Education Programs (IEPs), social-emotional goals can be a significant advantage. The purpose of integrating these goals is to help students manage stress and enable them to become more social and functional at school. Moreover, including SEL goals in an IEP ensures the child’s IEP team focuses their attention on the student’s most pressing developmental needs.
Relationship between behavioral IEPs, SEL competencies, and functional outcomes
Core SEL competencies (which will be covered in more detail below) provide a well-established, structured framework for developing social-emotional abilities. These competencies can be broken down into specific goals where progress is measured over time. This makes them ideal for IEPs for children with learning disabilities, as a key requirement of any IEP is the inclusion of SMART goals: specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound.
Ethical and Legal Foundations of IEP Goal Development
Requirement for individualized, student-centered IEP goals
An IEP is a specially designed education program that aims to meet the needs of a single student whose disabilities affect their ability to learn. This program is mandated by the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA).
IDEA requires that children in public schools who receive special education must have an IEP that is created for that student alone. This ensures the student receives the specific attention and depth of support they need to succeed in school.
As a result, IEP goals must not be general or generic. They have to be formulated through close collaboration and consultation between parents, teachers, special education providers, and other professionals, all of whom form the child’s IEP team.
Risks of copying external goal examples verbatim
When setting goals while writing an IEP, it is common to consult “goal banks.” These are pre-written guides containing sample goals for various learning needs. Goal banks can be immensely useful because they save time and help an IEP team align with educational best practices.
However, it is vital to use these goal banks responsibly. They should not be copied verbatim into an IEP. Using them in this manner results in generic, “cookie-cutter” goals that nullify the entire purpose of an individualized plan.
Appropriate use of goal banks as inspiration and ideation tools
Consequently, goal banks are best used as guides or inspiration for setting specific, personalized goals for a student.
Role of assessment data, professional judgment, and collaborative IEP teams
The process of writing an IEP can be quite rigorous. Before a plan is created, the school conducts a thorough evaluation to determine eligibility. A group of professionals then reviews these results to see if the student fits the definition of a “child with a disability” under IDEA. If the child is eligible, the school district’s IEP team has 30 calendar days to meet and write the plan.
The team works collaboratively to design a plan that serves the student’s needs. By law, the IEP team must include:
- The child’s parents or guardians;
- At least one general education teacher and at least one special education teacher;
- A school district representative with decision-making authority;
- A qualified professional who can interpret the child’s evaluation results.
Core Social-Emotional Learning Competencies Addressed in IEP Goals
Social-emotional learning (SEL) competencies provide a well-established framework for developing a child’s social-emotional skills. There are five core competencies, organized from internal awareness to external interaction: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationship skills, and responsible decision-making.
A. Self-Awareness
Self-awareness refers to the ability to understand one’s own emotions, thoughts, values, and experiences. Developing self-awareness helps children pinpoint their personal strengths and challenges while fostering self-acceptance and confidence. It also helps children understand how their actions affect others, which enables them to be more empathetic.
B. Self-Management
The focus of self-management is the regulation of one’s emotions, thoughts, and stress levels. This competency helps children develop healthy coping strategies for challenging situations, maintain focus, follow routines, and build independence.
C. Social Awareness
The ability to understand and relate to others forms the core of social awareness. Developing this skill teaches children how to recognize social cues and understand the perspectives of others. This helps children become more respectful and empathetic, allowing them to form meaningful relationships with their peers.
D. Relationship Skills
Building on social awareness, relationship skills focus directly on how children create positive connections, reduce isolation, and assimilate into their school environment. This competency improves communication and conversation skills, with an emphasis on cooperation (such as turn-taking) and conflict resolution in group settings. Additionally, relationship skills teach assertiveness and self-esteem during peer interactions.
E. Responsible Decision-Making
The competency of responsible decision-making focuses on teaching children how to assess a situation and act effectively. These skills promote confidence and independence as children learn to identify and evaluate their choices while keeping consequences in mind. Responsible decision-making teaches children how to demonstrate appropriate behavior across different settings and align their actions with social expectations.
Common Skill Areas Targeted by Social-Emotional and Social Skills IEP Goals
As evidenced by the specifics of IEPs and SEL competencies, there are several commonalities in social-emotional development and social skill IEP goals. These specifically include:
- Emotional regulation and coping strategies
- Impulse control and behavior management
- Attention, task engagement, and independent work
- Social communication and conversational skills
- Peer interaction during structured and unstructured activities
- Play skills, cooperation, and shared activities
- Compliance with directions and school routines
- Self-monitoring and behavior reflection
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Conclusion
Social-emotional skills are vital to a student’s growth, success in school (and later in adulthood), and overall well-being. Developing these skills through the five core SEL competencies and intentional, data-driven IEP goals can equip students with the tools necessary to lead happy and fulfilling lives.
Take the Next Step in Your Advocacy Journey
Developing an IEP for your child can be a daunting and intimidating process, often filled with complicated bureaucratic procedures and areas outside a parent’s expertise.
Navigating this journey can feel isolating, but it does not have to be.
The parent is the most crucial member of any IEP team. At The Advocacy Circle, we believe that an informed parent is a child’s most powerful ally. Whether you are preparing for your first IEP meeting or facing a complex placement dispute, The Advocacy Circle provides parents with the tools, templates, and community support they need to lead their child’s team with confidence.
Join The Advocacy Circle to become part of a community of parents who are turning exhaustion into effective advocacy.
